Saturday, May 23, 2009

Old Diary found in Behemoth's Dominion

An adventurer traveling through Behemoth's Dominion uncovered an old diary last Windsday, apparently detailing another adventurer's attempts to acquire special boots that the various monsters in Behemoth's Dominion carry around in large coffers for seemingly no reason (most of them don't even have feet, let alone room for a coffer).

When asked to comment, the adventurer who located the diary simply said "fucking bots stole KB again."

The following are select entries and excerpts from the diary outlining the adventurer's slow descent into insanity and addiction.

Day 1
After ensuring that I had all the necessary supplies, I have begun my journey to Behe[tab]. Hopefully this will not take long, but many such journeys often do, so I have resolved to keep a log of my progress. No luck finding the boots today. Promising success opening the coffers though.

Day 4
I am almost out of supplies. I can feel myself slowly slipping away into a Potion +2 addiction, but I cannot allow myself to leave without finding the boots. I must push forward. They may be in the possession of the next monster I defeat.

Day 9
Khuma won't respond to my calls for help. She just keeps saying shes almost out of time and then mysteriously teleporting away, completely ignoring my weak, emaciated body and leaving me alone in this harsh environment. Next time she comes, I will attempt to eat her. It is wrong, but I don't have a choice any more.

Day 11
54-93 60 80 3 4 5 83 84 85 84
20 40 60 80 6 7 8 66 46
10 30 50 70 90 0 1 2 50 70 90 71

Day 13

Day 17
I have achieved enlightenment. If anyone finds this diary, you may seek my wisdom at the summit of Mount Zhayolm. I will go there because that seems like what enlightened people do, I can only assume I will learn why upon my arrival. Oh, and I found the boots, but I gave them to a Cursed Weapon since its feet looked cold. How can they walk barefoot in this frigid cave?

1 comment:

Drac said...

I LOL'd.

Fucking win.

Who knew you had it in you?