An End

I finally did it, 75 Thief. It happened maybe a week ago, but I didn't quite feel like writing about it, so I put it off until now. I guess part of me feels like this should be more significant to me than it is, but, its been. . . . I suppose satisfying, but the primary thing is that a large chunk of my motivation has disappeared. I don't think its entirely because I finished off thief, but a part of it is.

Regardless, this is what I started, and now (besides merits), it is done. I made my account on December 24th, 2003, and chose to make a mithran thief from San D'Oria. I had the same model as I do now, right down to the size. Now, here I am, my third 75 finally gets finished. I do not know why I enjoy thief, honestly leveling it was a pain in the ass and often not enjoyable (though 74 to 75 was the most fun thing I've done in a long time simply due to a combination of daggers, sushi for the first time, and lolibri). It doesn't get great invites, and its not something that you'd jump to include in a small group of good jobs to have on an event.

It doesn't do the greatest damage, it doesn't have any amazing abilities. . . why do I like it? Do I even in actuality like it, or is it what I think I ought to like, and I simply convince myself to without ever having a reason at any part of the process?

I don't really know, though I was definitely happy to be breaking 1000 damage by a good margin with Trick Attack Dancing Edge on Greater Colibri while getting 75. Either way, at this point I've at least convinced myself I enjoy the idea of it, so I'm proud that I've completed this. Leveling thief to 75 is not easy, and doing it while not sucking and leeching off of the other 5 members of your party is even harder. I am proud that my thief is 75, and I am proud that I'm not gimping it up like most thieves are.

Do I consider myself one of the better/best thieves out there? Hell no. There is a lot I could do to put out a bit more damage, and I admittedly dismissed the idea of using sushi out of hand until recently out of blind disgust for the standard melee mentality that is currently in place. However, for some reason. . . I feel like what I've done getting to this point with thief, and what it is now is more significant than anything else I've done in the game. There's no logical reason for it, that's just how it is.

It feels very weird, after 5 years, getting this job that I've cared about and been interested in the entire time really to 75 finally. I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

The one thing that bothers me now is, part of me thinks that this is something like the fake ending in an RPG where the story really SHOULD have ended, but they wanted to let the player play around with all those spiffy end-of-the-game items they picked up in the final boss's dungeon, and then find completely broken max stat weapons in side-quests after all meaningful parts of the story have ended. Those never really feel right to me.

Well, enough of that I guess. The reality of it is that I ought to quit being sentimental about a number and keep making memories. Debating the contents and motivations of my thoughts with myself isn't terribly effective anyway.